Today, I realized the people that smile and laugh the most are the ones who are suffering the most.
Because laughter isn't only the best medicine, it's also the best disguise.
I should know, of all people.

I have inflicted so much pain upon myself that I can't take it any longer. Tonight I am hurting like crazy trying to get him to wake up. I need someone right now to lean on. I am afraid to lean on anyone else because he told me not to, and I don't want another fight. But I need someone. I just wish he would wake up and save me. Save me from myself. I have been trying to act like I am getting better but the truth of the matter is that I am not getting better. I am getting worse. I feel like crap 9 out of 10 days. I have been crying myself to sleep every night. It is pathetic. I hate my life and I need an escape right now. But no one is here to rescue me. I guesss its just another sleepless night. 

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