I can't concentrate on anything. Nothing is making me happy except him. I cry myself to sleep every night. I just want a mom or dad to cry to. I know its quite pathetic but I need someone to talk to right now. I'm really depressed and I could tell you exactly why but you can probably figure it out by yourself. I'm sick of feeling stupid and inadequate. I'm so tired of crying and sobbing at night when I know no one can hear me. I'm really hurting and no one is helping. I just want what everyone else has. A parent to love me. I hate my life. I hate it so very mcuh
Somehow even when I do something right, it is wrong. I can do all the laundry, clean the house, and make dinner and still be the biggest failure in my birthers eyes. I am sick and tired of feeling worthless because of her. I just want to kill myself right now. She doesn't know how to be a mother. Why did she even have me if she knew she wasn't going to be satisfied by a child who is different? Sometimes I wish she would have been on the pill, and never had me. Then I wouldn't even be alive to complain about how bad she treats me and makes me feel.
I don't have a mother. I never had a mom. I had a woman who was foolish enough to conceive me and give birth to me. She made the "biggest" mistake of her life by granting me life. I just wish I didn't have to see her everyday of my life. She treats me differently than my siblings. I am of no use to her. I am an orphan. No one loves me. But it is fine. One day someone will love me the way