I am pretty sure I would do whatever it takes to be with him forever. It seems like all roads in love are one way. It breaks my heart.
I'm sorry to say it but I definitely called this. I will be the one who hurt you. I don't want it to come to that but I feel like it will.
Walk me to my door, say you love me. Don't say anything that could hurt me. But just so you know I don't believe a single word you say. Why would I? You have lied in this past. Have you done this all before? Are you sure you want to stick with that answer? Why do I doubt you? Because when I wake up each morning I think about you. I think about the things I have done to get to you, to be with you. And I think of the things that I will do in order to lose you. I love you but when push comes to shove I will break. Fall to pieces and what is left of me will be a complete waste of hu I have tried to reach out to those I know best. But lately no one has heard a word I have spoken. Its like I am suffocating in myself. Its frightening.
Good gosh I feel like a fatty today. But its all fine and dandy because I am loving food today. After being all sickly this week its a relief to look at food and want to eat it. So far today I have had a lot of chocolate :) I love chocolate. No I am not eating because I want attention or am sad. I am eating because I am HUNGRY! Which is a very new concept to me. I barely had practice and for that I am grateful! I found out today that I get to go to the Hell House this October!! I am really looking forward to that.Other than that I have nothing else to say! Have a great weekend and party like Ahh life is truly all about days like today. I felt like crap but in the end all my lovers made it better. I would love to thank Shelbear mostly for the amazing feat. She made me laugh when I wanted to hurl and made me feel like a beautiful girl. I don't know what else to say other than thank you Shels. I also had a pretty tame day with Mr.Right. He made me snort and gosh I was embarrassed. But oh well! (: Thats all I got for now. Later lovelies
You are..... Amazing. Cute. A terrible liar. My best friend. A helpful person. Caring. Hostile at times. Jealous. Suspicious. Loving. Adorable. Carefree. Funny. Embarrassing. Childish. A jerk. Funky. Serious. Understanding. Wonderful. Confusing. A hand to hold. My rock to lean on. Hysterical. Bi-polar. Handsome. Careful. Honest. Ridiculous. Magnificient.
I hated last night horribly. It was as though we were all out for blood. I wish we hadn't fought at all. But he seemed like he wanted a fight. And I rarely disappoint. I never thought that I would feel like that again. It is such a horrid feeling when the one you love hurts you so terribly. I am so very grateful for my lovely friends who consoled me blindly. The didn't need to know what was wrong, the fact that something was wrong was apparent. I love you guys and I don't know what Iwould do without you! :)
In fairy tales the prince comes in and saves the princess. There's no fighting or arguing. It never happens that way in real life. Ever. I fight with my love almost daily which sucks because I love him. I pick fights to know that I am worth fighting over stupid insignificant things. I would never tell him that he makes me cry everytime he thinks he has screwed up. I wish I could protect him from every hurt and every pain. But I can't and I am slowly discovering this. I have never felt so giddy when someone touches me. I have never been so open and yet so held back. What if he doesn't really love me? What if this is all some sick plot to get some and I am stupid enough to believe that he actually cares.
I wish he could see how much he really means to me. But he can't neither can his friends. He can't see that when I say no, it means wait. And when I say I want to wait for him, well it means that I love him and I see a future for us. I don't want to do anything right now because I want there to be a future and if I can't know for certain that he will stick around then why would I do that? I am confused but what it means when you say "I love you".
| Categories   AllyumpkinI am seventeen years young and I live to party. I love a boy who will remain nameless. He is amazing. ArchivesMay 2012 Categories |
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